Posts tagged ‘farmyard’

I need to buy Rolos.

Not to give my last one to any valentine either. I suspect I have some unwanted house guests. How do I know? When my dog starts sniffing like a demented stockbroker in the toilet of a club, it’s fairly safe to assume a couple of mice have moved in.

The joys of living in an older house. The joys of living in a house with a broken cat-flap, that ironically provides perfect access and a little welcome matt inside for the mice to politely wipe their paws (it’s the least they could do). Before looting for our fallen crumbs, grains of rice, bags of cereal or even better… some chocolate biscuits.

And so the hunt begins. I don’t mind them at all, I don’t like killing them and would be much happier if they just moved along to greener pastures next door! Although their new insulation might prove to be a handy mouse-barrier.

Having grown up on a farm, I learnt from an early age not to sweat the small (and cute) stuff. Worry more about the bull / ram / rat or gander.

Although the latter were spineless creatures. If they were human, geese would be the type of person who throws rocks at cars from flyovers and eggs your house on Halloween night, even though there is nobody home! They are cowards. Geese were the scumbags of the farmyard.

The ducks were the peacekeepers, like little waddly Jedi guardians of calm.

The hens were the equivalent of a group of overly made-up 16 year old girls in velour tracksuits hanging around the trollies outside Tesco on a Saturday afternoon. Teasing the roosters, taunting the geese and tormenting the ducks.

My macabre eperience as a mouse catcher, has shown me that they LOVE chocolate. They love it more than cheese. Rolos provide the perfect ‘stretchiness’ needed in a mousetrap, for obvious reasons. I don’t think I need to spell them out. Poor mice. They won’t know whats hit them.

I feel like the farmyard bully. There aren’t many creatures I can stand up to, but I’m fairly confident that I will win the battle with the mice! I’d much prefer to co-exist with the little guys. I reckon I would get on a lot better with them than some of my neighbours.

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